Looking for A Kinder World with Forgiveness

Thank you for subscribing to my blog. If you would like to get my new content on leadership--how life and leadership coaching improves the world--there is no need to respond. My goal is to bring life and light with practical solutions to our world. As we continue to navigate the negativity surrounding us, it's time for empathy and understanding to encourage us with good news.

• · why it's important,
• · who we need to forgive,
• · how we contribute to creating hostile environments, and more.

Before we get too far in, let's start with some light humor.

Once upon a time in their marriage, Joe did something really stupid. Lisa chewed him out for it. He apologized; they made up.

However, from time to time, Lisa would mention what he had done.

"Honey," Joe finally said one day, "Why do you keep bringing that up? I thought your policy was 'forgive and forget.'”

"It is," Lisa said. "I just don't want you to forget that I've forgiven and forgotten."

 

 

Sometimes that's the way it is. We forgive but we are still holding a big stick over the offending party's head. The definition of forgiveness is to stop feeling angry or resentful toward someone for an offense, flaw, or mistake. Another explanation is to cancel a debt (financial or otherwise).

One definition addresses the feelings involved, and the second addresses the thinking towards the debt and the associated action.

Your inner game affects your outer world. If your thoughts often dwell on another person's faults, they build feelings of resentment and unforgiveness toward that person. Science tells us it takes 6-7 positive thoughts to counteract one negative. This begs the question, “What do I do about it if I am so irritated or offended that I can't let it go?” I will dive into this in future blogs. Not to leave you hanging, forgiveness starts with a choice and a thought. Choose to look for the good in that person; every time you have that negative thought, replace it with a confirmed positive thought. You will build a new pattern in your brain.

Empowerment exercise: Ask yourself, “Am I satisfied with my relationships? If you aren't, ask yourself, “What is my part of the problem?” Is there a possibility that extending forgiveness will help move the relationship towards a fulfilling future?